God Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule
A Fictional account of His Conversation at a press conference.
(Maybe people can understand His Rule from this account.)
(All of the Ten Commandments are at the bottom of this page.)In response to recent events on Earth, God, the omniscient creator-deity worshipped by billions of followers of various faiths for more than 6,000 years, clarified His longtime stance against humans killing each other.
"Look, I don't know, maybe I haven't made myself completely clear, so for the record, here it is again," said the Lord, betraying visible emotion during a press conference near the site of the fallen Twin Towers. "Somehow, people keep coming up with the idea that I want them to kill their neighbor. Well, I don't. And to be honest, I'm really getting sick and tired of it. Get it straight. Not only do I not want anybody to kill anyone, but I specifically commanded you not to, in really simple terms that anybody ought to be able to understand."
Worshipped by Christians, Jews, and Muslims alike, God said His name has been invoked countless times over the centuries as a reason to kill in what He called "an unending cycle of violence."
"I don't care how holy somebody claims to be," God said. "If a person tells you it's My will that they kill someone, they're wrong. Got it? I don't care what religion you are, or who you think your enemy is, here it is one more time -- No killing, in My name or anyone else's, ever again."
The press conference came as a surprise to humankind, as God rarely intervenes in earthly affairs. As a matter of longstanding policy, He has traditionally left the task of interpreting His message and divine will to clerics, rabbis, priests, imams, and Biblical scholars. Theologians and laymen alike have been given the task of pondering His ineffable mysteries, deciding for themselves what to do as a matter of faith. His decision to manifest on the material plane was motivated by the deep sense of shock, outrage, and sorrow He felt over the Sept. 11 violence carried out in His name, and over its dire potential ramifications around the globe.
"I tried to put it in the simplest possible terms for you people, so you'd get it straight, because I thought it was pretty important," said God, called Yahweh and Allah respectively in the Judaic and Muslim traditions. "I guess I figured I'd left no real room for confusion after putting it in a four-word sentence with one-syllable words on the tablets I gave to Moses. How much more clear can I get?"
"But somehow, it all gets twisted around and, next thing you know, somebody's spouting off some nonsense about, 'God says I have to kill this guy, God wants me to kill that guy, it's God's will,'" God continued. "It's NOT God's will, all right?
News flash !! -- 'God's will' equals 'Don't murder people !!'"Worse yet, many of the worst violators claim that their actions are justified by passages in the Bible, Torah, and Qur'an.
"To be honest, there's some contradictory stuff in there, okay?" God said. "So I can see how it could be pretty misleading. I admit it -- My mistake. I did My best to inspire them, but a lot of imperfect human beings have misinterpreted My message over the millennia. Frankly, much of the material that got in there is dogmatic, doctrinaire inerrantist bullshit. I turn My head for a second and, suddenly, all this stuff gets twisted around and added in, and everybody thinks it's God's will to kill as retribution for a harm done. It absolutely drives Me up the wall."
God praised the overwhelming majority of His Muslim followers as "wonderful, pious people," calling the perpetrators of the September 11 attacks rare and evil exceptions.
"This whole medieval concept of the jihad, or holy war, had all but vanished from the Muslim world in, like, the 10th century, and with good reason," God said. "There's no such thing as a holy war, only unholy ones. The vast majority of Muslims in this world reject the murderous actions of these radical extremists, just like the vast majority of Christians reject those two bigots on The 700 Club."
Continued God, "Read the book: 'Allah is kind, Allah is beautiful, Allah is merciful.' It goes on and on that way, page after page. But, no, some assholes have to come along and revive this stupid holy-war crap just to further their own hatefilled evil agenda. So now, some people are thinking all Muslims are murderous barbarians. They are not. Thanks, Taliban, 1,000 years of pan-Islamic cultural progress down the drain."
God stressed that His remarks were not directed exclusively at Islamic extremists, but rather at everyone whose ideological zealotry overrides their ability to comprehend the core message of all world religions.
"I don't care what faith you are, everybody's been making this same mistake since the dawn of time," God said. "The Muslims massacre the Hindus, the Hindus massacre the Muslims. The Buddhists, everybody massacres the Buddhists. The Jews, don't even get me started on the hardline, right-wing, Meir Kahane-loving Israeli nationalists, man. And the Christians? You people believe in a messianic prophet who says, 'Turn the other cheek', who gave you the two Great Commandments, 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might and all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. And the second is like to it. Love thy neighbor as yourself', but you've been killing everybody you can get your hands on since the Crusades."
"Can't you people see? Can't you see that each and every one of you is a part of Me, and when you kill, you hurt Me? And I don't like getting hurt anymore than you do!!!"
God got quiet for a minute, then said, "You know, I set this thing up with Love, and gave you all My power to think and to create, so that you could learn the meaning of My Love. I could change it, you know, but then you would be no higher than the other animals, which you don't appear to be at present."
"There are a ton of different religious traditions out there, and different cultures worship Me in different ways. They call Me by all sorts of different names, and I don't really care by what name you call on Me, as long as you call on Me often. My basic message is always the same .... Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Shintoism .... in every truly spiritual belief system under the sun, they all say you're supposed to Love your neighbors, folks! It's not that hard a concept to grasp."
"Why would you think I'd want anything else? Humans don't need religion or God as an excuse to kill each other -- you've been doing that without any help from Me since you were freaking apes!" God said. "The whole point of believing in Me, the I AM of you, is to have a higher standard of behavior, to LEARN and KNOW and GIVE LOVE and so that in Return LOVE CAN BE RECEIVED BY YOU. How obvious can I get?"
"I'm talking to all of you, everywhere!" continued God, His voice rising to a shout. "Do you hear Me? I don't want you to kill anybody. I'm against it, across the board. How many times do I have to say it? Don't kill each other anymore -- ever! I'm serious!"
Upon completing His outburst, God fell silent, standing quietly at the podium for several moments. Then, witnesses reported, God's shoulders began to shake, and He wept.
Jan 3, 2002 -- I have been notified that the above, which was sent to me in an email without credits, are from The Onion Site at http://www.theonion.com . . . Please visit them also.
It is time to peel this onion, and get down to the core issue ...
For just so long as this Rule and the other nine (or similar spiritual rules of other cultures), which are regarded as the basic moral code of mankind, are not adhered to categorically, any seeming peace in the world will be nothing more than a Truce of Fear Between Wars. The only fruit of War is War! Make Peace!!
God's Commandments seem to have been lost from the hearts and minds of the people. Just so you will know what they look like if you should ever see them. You might even want to put them to practice in your life.
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The Ten Commandments translated from the Aramaic --
1. You shall have no other gods except me.
2. You shall not make for yourself any idol of wood or stone or metal, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven or on earth; you shall not worship nor serve them.
3. You shall not take a false oath in the name of God.
4. Remember the sabbath day to keep it holy.
5. Honor your father and your mother.
6. You shall not kill.
7. You shall not commit adultery.
8. You shall not steal.
9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
10. You shall not covet ... not your neighbor's house, wife, nor anything that is your neighbor's.
God gave us the Ten Commandments to lead all mankind in the quest for Understanding, Hope, Love, and Peace, to walk Free of all bondage with a righteous loving God. They embody the heart of all good law. Each commandment has its own reason and rationale, and is designed to protect rights -- The right of God to be reverenced for what He is, The Creator; The right of Him to be mentioned only in a holy way; The right of parents to be respected; The right to life; The right to property; and The right to the truth. These are illustrated in the following Ten Principles.
Ten Principles for Daily Living 1. Show proper respect for authority.
2. Have a singleness of purpose.
3. Use effective communication.
4. Provide work, rest and reflection.
5. Show respect for elders.
6. Show respect for human life and dignity.
7. Maintain stability of the sexes.
8. Demonstrate the proper allocation of resources.
9. Demonstrate honesty and integrity.
10. Maintain the right of ownership of property.
And for those of you who are still learning The ABCs of a Fruitful Life, this link is to a page that gives you everything you need to know from A to Z.
Love and Peace, Barefoot
